Kaya the Black Cat
Dear Lady Kaya, Black Beauty Cat,
Welcome to the Cats' Division of Moosey's Animal Farm. We hope you will enjoy your stay here with us in this pet-friendly, rambling country house and garden.
Perhaps you may even stay forever, which is a long time, even for a cat. Allow me to introduce you to the facilities we offer to make your stay a happy one.
Black Cat Kaya with White Blossom
The sleeping arrangements are varied. You can choose from a selection of cosy cat beds and squashy chairs in the communal living area. The log-burner will be lit on cooler evenings for your comfort. Of course a faint-hearted feline can slink off into a bedroom, but please make sure someone knows you are in there.
Kaya the Cat
Household manners are relaxed. Tables and benches can be leapt upon - you will be told (firmly) by the Head Gardener if you've chosen an inappropriate time (for example, when she is serving human dinner).
However the pantry is out-of-bounds - please do not follow Tiger the tortoiseshell's bad example and sneak inside it to eat the dog biscuits.
Kaya, you will be offered a good, varied selection of tasty treats - whichever dried cat biscuits are on special, plus fresh pet meat (rabbit, steak, veal, or kangaroo). The fish man leaves pet scraps every second Tuesday, and the Head Gardener is most fussy about trimming the fish flesh away from the bones. The property has ponds and streams from which you can drink pure, clean running river water.
Meals can be taken either in the kitchen or in the privacy of a bedroom. You might like to nominate a special place where you'd like your own morning and afternoon snacks left. And of course, please feel free to supplement your diet with prey, while observing the Moosey's Country Garden Hunting Etiquette.
Moosey's Country Garden Hunting Etiquette
It is considered poor manners to bring mice, rats, or rabbits inside when still alive and wriggling fiercely. And Moosey's Country Garden has a very strict policy regarding birds. Please do not kill or injure any of the birdies.
Black Cat Kaya
Explore the Gardens...
You might like to spend your leisure time exploring the gardens, the orchard, or the hay barn. If tree-climbing is your strength we suggest the Cordyline and Gum tree trunks. You'll get great traction and be able to hang on upside down without fear of falling.
There are out-buildings to visit, too - a glass-house, an open garage, stables, and a woodshed. They are all well worth a visit in inclement weather.
House Brothers and Sisters
Your new resident house brothers and sisters are a settled bunch, and it may take a little time to get to know them. As a new Moosey cat you may feel a little threatened, but don't worry - underneath all that bluff and bravado ginger Percy is a real gentleman (I can't think why he enjoys chasing you), and little Minimus's bark is worse than her bite. Not that little Minimus is a dog...
Black Cat Kaya in the Driveway
Kaya, you've been an urban cat, you're streetwise and sharp. Really, these country cats should be a pushover. And Rusty the Moosey dog is extremely kind to cats - this, surely, is a plus. The Head Gardener will always be on hand to answer any of your queries, and to intervene with the broom should Histeria the tabby try and pick a fight with you.
Welcome to Moosey's
Welcome to Mooseys, Kaya, and may your stay here be peaceful and enjoyable. May your fur grow sleek and shiny, your belly always be full, and may you always be able to find a nice human for cat-pats and conversation.
Update - January 2011
Dear Kaya, farewell, and all the very best in your new home, where there are no ginger Percies to chase you or grey Minimuses to growl. And just think - a whole garden to yourself! Enjoy!