Five Step Plan...

Hmmm... How to get rid of Alstroemeria - the orange variety, super invasive, spreading all over the place, surplus to requirements. It arrived un-noticed, attached to some rose roots, ten years ago.

 It does spread itself around a bit. Oops.
Dodgy Orange Alstroemeria

Here is my five-step plan :

The Plan

  1. Have a cup of coffee.
  2. Put on sturdy gardening boots.
  3. Gather up ladies' spade, buckets, and wheelbarrow.
  4. Dig for five minute, then sit down in the dirt and remove all roots.
  5. Repeat this last step at least fifty times.

And so on, and so on. There's also a sneaky back-up, not quite as earthy and organic. Ask Non-Gardening Partner to fill one's wee spray bottle with unmentionable weed killer. Squirt carefully onto leaves whose stems cannot be dug out (e.g. if they are too close to a rhododendron).

The best way to get started?

And the best way to get started on this venture? Zoom off in car to visit the local library. In other words, put it off until later in the day. Hee hee.

 And the wind is too cold.
Too Wet to Go Gardening

And just when one gets home from the library it starts to rain, so of course the digging has to be postponed.

One hour later...

Well, I did make a gentle start in the gentle rain. But then the rain got heavier and noisier, and I got wetter and muddier. Only dug a small patch, removed five bucketfuls of roots. But I think this two-pronged approach could work. Doing something is surely better than doing nothing? Famous last words...

 And the leaves are starting to drop onto the patio.
Wisteria Going Yellow

Two days later...

Right. I am still putting off going back into the garden because it's still wet out there. The ultimate procrastination : this morning I even combed out the knots in my hair (took ages). Anything to put off the dreaded outdoor excursion. I know. How about a nice cup of coffee? Oh, alright. It's just before 11am - the perfect time for morning coffee, hee hee...

Next morning...

So yesterday the wind was biting cold, just too unpleasant, and I ended up staying inside. Today the wind has stopped and there's sunshine. I have big plans to do two days work in one. Just watch me...

Five hours later...

Oh joy! Five hours of digging out Alsroemeria roots. A muddy and slightly disheartening thing to do for five hours, and quite hard on the back and hips.

So I am going to have the longest hot shower, then put on clean clothes (yippee for clean warm socks) and take an anti-inflam pill (a dodgy reward, but they do help me sleep well). I will wrap up in something warm and woolly (my big purple mohair cardigan, probably), organise the evening meal, and wait for Non-Gardening Partner to come home.

Lucky NGP. I will then tell him all about my amazing five hour working day. In detail.